Shit sticks its been awhile.. although I do have some writtin saved from a few months ago that I never posted..

"i hate your stupid fucking friend.
hes a complete cunt
no wonder hes single again..
i cant believe that you chose to talk to him instead of seein if i was okay.
yeah im clearly upset but talk to him..
and you're arranging to meet up with everyone.
great thanks for telling me!"

Eesh clearly wasn't a good day.

Anyway I haven't written owt due to being busy working and being with Garyo.
Tut everytime I'm on this sodding laptop my stupid cat crawls on the keys.
And whats the point in the PussyCat Dolls when Nicole sings it all by sherself anyway.
And if you like feet/high heals watch the video for Up by the Saturdays.
Haha I love Pinks video for so what.. just amusing.. sorreh watching crappeh moosic tv.

I wish I was skinny enough to be a model. Although now its too late, I'm gerrin old and have an appointment at the hospital this month to see about getting my jaw broken and moved n shiz. So i'll be in braces for at least a year maybe two.
*sigh*

Think I'm guna dye my hair red soon. Surely its about time for a change, although I do love being blonde.

I have crappy college work today since I'm not there although I wish I'd gone I'm feeling bit better now although I have cramps and a huge headache it wouldve beaten sitting home alone bored n freezin.

Why can blokes be such jerks sometimes? Its never their fault or something they've done.
Grr.. Centre Parcs seems like a dream, something far far away but it was only a week n a half ago. Good things dont last, peace doesn't last.

Oh well.. Off to see Finch in like two weeks.. yey. Down in Nottingham. Guna be awesome, the little sister is coming too.. don't get to hang out with either of them anymore. They're both at uni and I'm no longer in scunny.. Its a bum hole. I miss them. Fook knows whats guna happen at Christmas.. Dont really wanna think about it.

Anyway Best read through this shit for college. Back at work tomorrow, get back in sinc with my normal life. Although will have to wake up early cause me n Gary are sharin a car atm >.<
I need a new car. And want some boots.

I feel like such a waste of space at the moment.
Having no job and trying to find one is a piece of poo!
I did have an interview today but it went terrible.
I was so nervous I messed everything up.
Its been nearly a month now.. why did they have to run out of money.
DAMN YEW!
Gotta go pick gary up from work cause his car is brokend.

( I Miss This )

I have no job.. again.. Unemployment sucks major arse.
I got told on friday that the business wasn't doing so well and they are having to cut back on everything which equals in me losing my job. I had only been there 2 n a half months.. DAMN YEW!
So now I am desperately looking for a new job otherwise things (money wise) are going to get really, really bad.
I'm okay this month because I'll be getting paid for last month on thursday, and I guess next month if it comes down to it I can fall back on my savings. After that I'll be abit screwed.

I have the best luck in the world.

Also on friday I fell down some stairs.. didn't do much damage luckily just a scraped knee.

Aswell I have a stoopid fuckin cold.. go away!

My sister has now taken over my room at my mothers. pfft.
THATS MY ROOM DAMNIT!
Always has, you gave yours up when you went to uni.. well I'm guna take my bed when I get round to it. suppose I could go get it next week along with my MITCH! woop.
I think Gary's coming round to having Mitch instead of gettin a kitten. Although I would love to do both, a kitten is guna cost more than just bringin Mitch over. Plus hes gerrin old so when he pops his cloggs we'll get a kitteh.



Good thing is when me and Gary are together here it feels more like home than in Scunny. TBH I never thought I'd be saying that. I just don't like the fact we're so far away from anyone we know, and its not like we go out anywhere or owt. Might see bout goin to a pub this weekend, depends on how tight we're feeling.. gotta save them pennies.

I wish things were okay, but they're really really not.

We argue all the time.

My boss thinks I dont like being here because I had two days off.
One of which was your fault.
Both I was acutally in no sate to come into work.
Bad stomach and depressed basically.

I do like working here.
Just wish there was more people and I didnt have to make coffee all the time.
ARGH! i hate the smell of coffee.

TBH I feel quiet worthless here so it doesnt matter.
Man I'm such a loser.

I wish I was back at college, then I'd have a long summer ahead of me

I dunno what to think or feel anymore.
You lie to me, we argue all the time, I can't let go of things.

I feel numb inside,
I'm sat at work trying not to cry.
Tears are working there way to myeyes.

My boss just said he needed to have a talk with me tomorrow.
Great! Just what I fucking need!

I really want to smoke or something.
My life is spiraling downwards.
I'm breaking inside

GRRRRR I hate liars!
Why can't you just tell me the truth?!
You're such a fucking arse sometimes.

Why are you trying to start a bloody arguement with me about planning to see a friend sometime soon?! Do you seriously enjoy arguing?!
I dont!

Anyway I've been working now for a week and a half.
Its a new business.. Y-Buy Ltd.
We lease private and business vehicles.
there isn't alot for me to do.
Which I don't mind, apart from when I'm here on my own.
boo hiss
I have to record a voice mail message
god I hate the sound of my voice and feel so stupid

ugh supose i should do it so i've actually done something today.

I wish I could leave now, but Gary (one of my boss') said he would call this afternoon and I have to wait for someone to pick up the broken whiteboard. GRRRRR!

So I got the job I went for two weeks ago, I start on monday.
I am an admin girl.. fun fun fun.. crap wage but I suppose its something.
Its in Castleford. So now I'm moving away from home for good, not that anyone in my family are really botherd about it.
It's weird because it feels like my dad cares (or is more botherd) about me the most.
Which is something I never thought I'd ever be saying..
My sisters and mother are too engrossed in their own lives, granted Clares in Brum.
All my mother cares about is fucking money.
And Laura well, shes wrapped up in herself.
We used to be close, I miss it.
For a year we used to go out all the time but now that her friends are old enough I'm dropped like a sack of spuds.
I asked her if she wanted to come out with me tonight but she can't be botherd.
Went out last night with her friends. So I'm out with Gary and his friends because Helen is only out until 9.30 cause shes pickin her fella up from work.
Anyway Garys here so I'm off..

Hells yeah! Gots Leeds Tickets!!!!!!
WOOO! Its guna be awesome. My sisters got tickets too.
they had all sold out last night so me and Lu went to hmv this mornin, had to queue up for almost two hours! But was totally worth it as we got the last tickets barring one, which a lass behind us got. So now I'm skinted and cold. Laura got hers and Clares ticket and I got mine n Garys.
Would have been so guttin not to get a ticket.
WOOP!!!
Off to the Give It A Name gig too.. only on the sunday like..
Purely because Finch are freaking playing!!!!!
Can't friggin wait! Loved um for years..
7 years of Finch loving.. although they split up for awhile pfft!
Then in september going to see Mister Leeeeeeeeeee EVANS!
YEY!!!
Too bad I havent got a job yet to pay me back my moneh!
haha
Had a job interview yesterday, went okay I think.
They said they'd let me know but the lastest of tuesday.
Although I'm off away for the weekend on friday so they only way they'd get in touch would be my mobile which might be off..
Centre Parcs, can't wait!!!
I'm so friggin tired and cold.
Lu dragged me out of bed early, but was totaly worth it.
Well I woke up at like 6 anyway but fell back to sleep so it doesnt really count.
I wanna sleep but can't be arsed!
Wanna bounce around.. haha

Well it turns out I can't have done so bad on that test thing because I got sent an application form today. But that still means I have to wait another two weeks to see if I get an interview. pfft.
At least things seem to be looking up.
I have an interview on monday for y-buy.. Doing admin/receptionist work.
I also sent my CV/cover letter for another receptionist job which should hopefully be okay because they said no experience necessary.
So fingers crossed something goes well for me :)
And Gary he had a job interview on wednesday and has another on monday.
I was annoyed at first when he got them because I've been looking for ages and as soon as he looks he gets two friggin interviews. Nevermind.
He needs the money.
Although not really if I had a job too cause then when I move in with him I'd be paying half for things. men.

Anyways its Gary's birthday today.. he thinks hes old pfft.
23 is not old.
For his birthday I am paying for us to go away for the weekend to centre parcs.
ooo I can't wait!
It's almost out year anniversary too.
Damn it seems to have flown by.

I need to go bake him a cake and get a shower.
Perhaps not in that order.